13 Things You Should Give Up If You Want To Be Successful

Originally posted on Medium by Zdravko Cvijetic

”Somebody once told me the definition of hell:

“On your last day on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become.” — Anonymous


Sometimes, to become successful and get closer to the person we can become, we don’t need to add more things — we need to give up on some of them.

There are certain things that are universal, which will make you successful if you give up on them, even though each one of us could have a different definition of success.

You can give up on some of them today, while it might take a bit longer to give up on others.


1. Give Up On The Unhealthy Lifestyle

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” — Jim Rohn

If you want to achieve anything in life, everything starts here. First you have to take care of your health, and there are only two things you need to keep in mind:

1. Healthy Diet
2. Physical Activity

Small steps, but you will thank yourself one day.


2. Give Up The Short-term Mindset

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” — Mae West

Successful people set long-term goals, and they know these aims are merely the result of short-term habits that they need to do every day.

These healthy habits shouldn’t be something you do; they should be something you embody.

There is a difference between: “Working out to get a summer body” and “Working out because that’s who you are.”


3. Give Up On Playing Small

“Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone, and as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson

If you never try and take great opportunities, or allow your dreams to become realities, you will never unleash your true potential.

And the world will never benefit from what you could have achieved.

So voice your ideas, don’t be afraid to fail, and certainly don’t be afraid to succeed.


4. Give Up Your Excuses

“It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand.”
― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Successful people know that they are responsible for their life, no matter their starting point, weaknesses, and past failures.

Realising that you are responsible for what happens next in your life is both frightening and exciting.

And when you do, that becomes the only way you can become successful, because excuses limit and prevent us from growing personally and professionally.

Own your life; no one else will.


5. Give Up The Fixed Mindset

“The future belongs to those who learn more skills and combine them in creative ways.” ― Robert Greene, Mastery

People with a fixed mindset think their intelligence or talents are simply fixed traits, and that talent alone creates success — without effort. They’re wrong.

Successful people know this. They invest an immense amount of time on a daily basis to develop a growth mindset, acquire new knowledge, learn new skills and change their perception so that it can benefit their lives.

Remember, who you are today, it’s not who you have to be tomorrow.


6. Give Up Believing In The “Magic Bullet.”

“Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better” — Émile Coué

Overnight success is a myth.

Successful people know that making small continual improvement every day will be compounded over time, and give them desirable results.

That is why you should plan for the future, but focus on the day that’s ahead of you, and improve just 1% every day.


7. Give Up Your Perfectionism

“Shipping beats perfection.” — Khan Academy’s Development Mantra

Nothing will ever be perfect, no matter how much we try.

Fear of failure (or even fear of success) often prevents us from taking an action and putting our creation out there in the world. But a lot of opportunities will be lost if we wait for the things to be right.

So “ship,” and then improve (that 1%).


8. Give Up Multi-tasking

“You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.” ― Winston S. Churchill

Successful people know this. That’s why they choose one thing and then beat it into submission. No matter what it is — a business idea, a conversation, or a workout.

Being fully present and committed to one task, is indispensable.


9. Give Up Your Need to Control Everything

“Some things are up to us, and some things are not up to us.” — Epictetus, Stoic philosopher

Differentiating these two is important.

Detach from the things you cannot control, and focus on the ones you can, and know that sometimes, the only thing you will be able to control is your attitude towards something.

Remember, nobody can be frustrated while saying “Bubbles” in an angry voice.


10. Give Up On Saying YES To Things That Don’t Support Your Goals

“He who would accomplish little must sacrifice little; he who would achieve much must sacrifice much; he who would attain highly must sacrifice greatly.” — James Allen

Successful people know that in order to accomplish their goals, they will have to say NO to certain tasks, activities, and demands from their friends, family, and colleagues.

In the short-term, you might sacrifice a bit of instant gratification, but when your goals come to fruition, it will all be worth it.


11. Give Up The Toxic People

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
― Jim Rohn

People we spend the most time with, add up to who we become.

There are people who are less accomplished in their personal and professional life, and there are people who are more accomplished than us. If you spend time with those who are behind you, your average will go down, and with it, your success.

But if you spend time with people who are more accomplished than you, no matter how challenging that might be, you will become more successful.

Take a look at around you, and see if you need to make any changes.


12. Give Up Your Need To Be Liked

“The only way to avoid pissing people off is to do nothing important.” — Oliver Emberton

Think of yourself as a market niche.

There will be a lot of people who like that niche, and there will be individuals who don’t. And no matter what you do, you won’t be able to make the entire market like you.

This is entirely natural, and there’s no need to justify yourself.

The only thing you can do is to remain authentic, improve and provide value every day, and know that the growing number of “haters” means that you are doing important things.


13. Give Up Your Dependency on Social Media & Television

“The trouble is, you think you have time” — Jack Kornfield

Impulsive web browsing and television watching are diseases of today’s society.
These two should never be an escape from your life or your goals.

Unless your goals depend on either, you should minimise (or even eliminate) your dependency on them, and direct that time towards things that can enrich your life.


Call To Action

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PS: you will find the tip about making the most out of “Your Dead Time” fascinating!


Dogs are people too!

dog

Dogs are people too!

As a Black woman in living in the state of Washington, I have very little opportunity to interact with minorities of  all backgrounds. When I first moved to Seattle approximately 3 years ago, I was excited to live in a city which was socially liberal. This was a welcome breath of fresh air after leaving the deep south. For the most part I love this city and it is one of my favorite places to live in the US (with the exception of New England).

However, there are a few things that I must deal with but I am struggling to understand as I acclimate to Seattle. The most prominent thing being their love for dogs and animals. I grew up in West Africa and we grew up with pets (mostly dogs, cats and one bunny- who disappeared under suspicious circumstances). Recently, in conversation in with one of my neighbors I asked her to clean up after her dogs and she went into this litany about dog rights and animal rights. In summary, she equated the life of a dog to the life of humans and I am paraphrasing here but what I surmised from her argument was; “Dogs are people too”. I was so flabbergasted that I just started laughing hysterically.

All joking aside, I struggle with the fact that certain Seattlelites express more compassion over a dead dog than they do for black men being gunned downed and murdered by police officers. I find these views really disturbing especially living in a state that is a liberal as Washington state. I can only imagine what people living in more conservative states must be going through.

For so long, the Black community has had to live with the systematic portrayal of black people in general and black men in particular as animals in the media. I wonder if the Black Lives Matter movement will make more headway if they acquiesced and said yes “we are animals” and just let PETA take up their cause. PETA certainly seems to be getting their message heard.

Recently, I was taking with one of my Caucasian friends and she mentioned the the Netflix show “The Man In the High Castle” and she tried to imagine what life would be like in America if Hitler and the Nazis had won the war. I calmly informed her that for some groups very little had changed since the war namely for the Black community and other minority groups. Some groups don’t have to imagine an alternate reality if Nazi’s had won the world, we are living in an alternate especially with the recent election results.

the-man-in-the-high-castle

If you think I am exaggerating, take a look at this group of white high school student doing the Hitler salute for their annual picture in a high school in Texas.

hitler-salute

In her recent Oscar nominated documentary 13th, director Ava DuVernay makes the argument slavery is being effectively perpetuated in the United States through mass incarceration of African Americans. One could argue that there has been some change in the way Blacks are treated in this country but no one will disagree that there is still a lot of room for growth.

13th

ava-duvernay

May be aligning the Black lives matter message with PETA and having them take on the role of defending certain Homo Sapiens sub groups (especially those with a certain level of melanin pigmentation) is a bit extreme but they seem to have made significant headway. I worry about raising my daughters in a society where animal lives are more valuable than certain human lives. PETA stands for People for the Ethical treatment of Animals. Maybe we should create a new group called PETAH (People for the Ethical Treatment of All Humans).

I  don’t know about everyone else but as for me and my family we are “down with all Homo Sapiens”. As far as I am concerned Dogs are NOT people. Now I love the Canis Lupus species but I am “down with the Homo Sapiens” in a crazy kind of way – ride or die!!! I guess that explains why I have spent the last decade of my life obtaining training to better serve them as a physician.

I leave you with a quote from one of my favorite books: Animal Farm – “All animals are equal but some are more equal than others”

all-animals-are-equal

If you are down with the Homo Sapiens like and share this post.

homo-sapiens

 

So where do we go from here?  Thoughts anyone? Now is not a time to tremble in the face of adversity, it is the time to get your voices heard.

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