5 REASONS WHY YOU NEED A KNOW-IT-ALL ON YOUR TEAM!

Know-it-all

Know-it-alls can be annoying and extremely difficult to get along with; trust me, I know quite a few know-it-alls and I may or may not be one. However, they are extremely useful assets in life and in business. Rather than trying to stifle their exuberance, you can re-channel their focus and put them to good use. Here are 5 simple ways that know-it-alls can be of benefit:

THEY MAKE GREAT RESEARCH ASSISTANTS:

In general, they tend to obsess over topics and dutifully go over mundane details in order to be well informed. So use them to do research on a topic or subject you may be interested in and then give them a platform to broadcast their knowledge. They will love having an audience and your team will only benefit from their research. As I always say, know-it-alls make great learn-it-alls.

know it alls

THEY ARE GOOD AT PUBLIC SPEAKING:

If you need someone to help you build your public speaking skills, study the way know-it-alls handle an audience. They tend to be undisturbed by the size of the crowd or the group. In general, they are good orators and because they are sometimes outrageous in their claims they have a good handle on how to deal with an unengaged and sometimes a hostile audience.

USE THEM TO INTRODUCE DIFFICULT OR TOUCHY SUBJECTS:

Know-it-alls tend to be unperturbed by negative reactions from their audience. As such they are well equipped to broach touchy subjects or topics. They will appreciate and revel in the fact that they have some exclusivity and will gladly introduce touch subjects on your behalf. By the time they are done with their segments, your group will be ready for questions and you can answer questions and redirect the group’s energy. By the time the know-it-all is done with the group, they will be so happy to hear from you. Caution: this usually works better in group settings and not so well in one-on-one conversations since know-it-alls can be overwhelming in private settings. 

THEY ARE GREAT TEAM CHEERLEADERS:

Let’s be honest, know-it-alls can be annoying but once they decide to be on your team, they will sing your praises like a songbird. The fact that they are so emphatic in their beliefs, means they are extremely useful for boosting team moral.

THEY ARE AWESOME FRIENDS:

Know-it-alls tend to be extremely loyal which may seem a little counter-intuitive but trust me, you want them as your friend. They will silence your doubts and speak to your strengths like no one. Once they are on team YOU, it is extremely hard for them to switch teams. They reason being, they tend to over-analyze everything and they spend a lot of time researching the benefits of a friendship with you. Once they make the decision to be your friend, they will stick around no matter how long it takes to get a return on their investment. After all, they are so used to going against the grain that they will not falter when everyone else does.

Merriam-Webster defines a know-it-all as one who claims to know everything. 

Grace Favor & Faith definition: One who loves to know everything and is willing to put in the work. 

Learn it all

Disclaimer: Of course this is only my opinion which is extremely biased. I may be a little know-it-all… okay who am I kidding? I am a full fledged know-it-all. However, growing up with 7 headstrong siblings gave me a unique perspective on interpersonal relationships.

Definition of a know it all

I recognize that we are all overworkedover exposed and over stimulated today but if you liked this article, consider liking it and sharing it with a friend, family member, colleague, hater or frenemy!

Share your thoughts below, I can’t wait to hear from YOU!

 

 

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UNDERESTIMATED

I used to be irritated when people underestimated my talents. Often times I would be fuming in frustration when decisions were made against my recommendations. I have grown to appreciate being underestimated because it enables me to strategize covertly. Now, I just make my plans taking into account the fact that I will be underestimated then laugh all the way to the finish line.

It’s important to never underestimate a problem, a person, or situation but the most important thing to remember is to never underestimate your talents as you hone your craft. You must recognize that the one thing you can control when facing a problem or an opponent is your reaction to the said problem or opponent.

As I often say, “I refuse to be marginalized, stigmatized, terrorized or tolerated but thank you for underestimating me”. I know it can be annoying sometimes but I urge you keep a poker face when people clearly underestimate you. At the end of the day, being underestimated is the best gift your haters could ever give you.

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I leave you with a quote from Hale Irwin: “I never underestimate my opponent but I never underestimate my talent”.

I know we are all overworkedover exposed and over stimulated today but if you liked this article, consider liking it and sharing it with a friend, family member, colleague, hater or frenemy!

Share your thoughts below, I can’t wait to hear from YOU!

underestimation1

Jealousy vs Envy

I have always been fascinated by these two words; by their meanings, their differences and similarities, by their use and misuse and most importantly by the fact that they are used interchangeably when they should not.

Jealousy is a complex emotion marked by insecurity and the fear of losing something or someone that we value greatly.  Jealousy encompasses several emotions including; abandonment, anger, humiliation and shame. It has been defined as being fiercely protective or vigilant of your rights or possessions.

Envy on the other hand is wanting or desiring something or someone that belongs to another person. One dictionary defines Envy as a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions or qualities.

envy

Neel Burton, MD in Psychology Today makes the following statement ” Envy is the pain caused by the desire for the advantages of others while Jealousy is the pain caused by the fear of losing our advantages to others.”

I always found it interesting that God uses “Jealous” to define his character:

Exodus 34: 14 (NLT): You must worship no other gods, for the Lord, whose very name is JEALOUS, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you.

Envy somehow makes the list of the “Seven deadly sins” which is a whole separate topic beyond the scope of this post.

In the privacy of your own meditations, I hope you get a chance to examine your life to see how jealousy or envy may be affecting your outlook. I would like to invite you to consider that there are sometimes in life when we should be jealous but envy on the other hand is an emotion I would rather not experience. One of my goals this year is to build successful relationships and I wish you the best with your relationships this year.

I know we are all overworked, over exposed and over stimulated today but if you liked this article, consider liking it and sharing it with a friend, family member, colleague, hater or frenemy!

Share your thoughts below, I can’t wait to hear from YOU!

I leave you with a quote by  H. G. Wells: “Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.”

jealousy-halo

 

ENOUGH

I was reminded of this quote a few weeks ago just like many of you when Denzel Washington challenged a journalist about their responsibility to tell the truth. He questioned the need for the media to put out information with immediacy. Nowadays the prize is given to whoever puts out a story first whether or not it is true. The challenge with this mantra is, those stories are about people. And regardless of how fast both the viewers and the media move on to the next story, those people are left to pick up the pieces or their lives.

As a mother, wife, physician, sibling and friend I am haunted by the people whose stories and illness are exploited by the media and our culture for entertainment purposes. I do not want to blame the media but I want to examine how news outlets like TMZ came into existence and how they managed to build thriving successful businesses.

Prior to the 20th century, ogling people with birth deformities was a socially acceptable form of entertainment and it was even considered appropriate family entertainment. People were willing to pay to come see  what they called “curiosities”, “cretins”, or “rare creatures”. Back then anything was fair game; severely disfigured, conjoined twins, dwarfs, giants, congenital disease. It was all permissible and people came to these freak shows in droves to be entertained. P. T. Barnum was one of the most successful businessmen at exploiting these people who were often unwillingly coerced into the industry as children. Here are a few classics he gave us:

Here is ZIP “ a different race of human found during a gorilla trekking expedition near the Gambia River in western Africa.”

He really was William H. Johnson, born to freed slaves in New Jersey. He was born with microcephaly which is a neurological condition where children are born with a head circumference significantly smaller than the mean for other children of the same age and sex. He was kept in a cage  and ordered not to speak but only grunt for entertainment pursposes.

Meet the “Siamese” or conjoined twins

Chang and Eng were born in a Siamese fishing village and were connected at the torso. They were paraded for entertainment for decades in Europe and America.  The duo is credited with the term “Siamese twins”  which was first coined by a physician who watched them perform.

“The dog faced boy”

He was actually Fedor Jeftichew and after his father’s death, the 16-year old a former ward of the Russian government was adopted by a shrewd businessman.  He was bought by P.T. Barnum in 1884 and advertised as “a boy who was raised by wolves in Siberia” eventually he was transformed into “Jo-Jo The Dog-Faced Boy” likely due to the American public’s infatuation with dogs.

While the American public has stopped being entertained by the “FreakShow” business they have a new obsession and that is “Show Business”.  Our evolved society no longer gawks at people with congenital defects or birth “curiosities” but we have moved on to more subtle defects “mental illness”.

The “Fedors”, “Zips” and “Siamese Twins” of the 19th century have been replaced by “Charlie Sheens”, “Carrie Fishers”, “Robin Williams”, “Amy Winehouses”, “Jim Carries”, and “Britney Spears” of today.

Who cares if Charlie Sheen rages and rants about tiger blood and other such nonsense? After all he is being handsomely compensated. Well that same argument was made by the “FreakShow” business after Carol Grant a 16 year old with a deformity was deeply offended by a sideshow. She wrote a letter to the Agricultural Commissioner stating that “Handicapped people are seeking more in life than being stared at in a sideshow”.

Bobby Reynolds a businessman involved in the “FreakShow” business responded with the following statement: “If you’re a mutation of sorts, the biggest thrill you get is opening the mailbox and getting a check from the government. Or you get put in an institution. People say ‘Oh, you took advantage of those people!’ We didn’t take advantage of those people. They were stars! They were somebody. They enjoyed themselves.”

Ultimately the “FreakShow” business died in the 1950’s once these “curiosities” and “freaks” and their fabricated backstories were debunked by science when physicians started speaking out and curing these so called “freaks of nature”.

As I physician, a nurse, a mother, sister and most importantly as HUMAN, I am greatly disturbed by these stories. I am perplexed by a society who is willing to sentence a man to jail for dog fighting on one hand but is entertained by watching celebrities denigrate publicly in front of our eyes.

I wonder how many of the millions entertained by Amy Winehouse’s song Rehab took a minute to reflect on her untimely death from alcohol poisoning. Many of us were  impressed with Heath Ledger’s role as “The Joker” in the Dark Knight.  Here is what Heath Ledger said about preparing for that role,

“I sat around in a hotel room in London for about a month, locked myself away, formed a little diary and experimented with voices – it was important to try to find a somewhat iconic voice and laugh. I ended up landing more in the realm of a psychopath – someone with very little to no conscience towards his acts. He’s just an absolute sociopath, a cold-blooded, mass-murdering clown.”

His father would later reveal that at the end of shooting, he wrote “Bye Bye” on the back of the last page of his diary. Ledger died from an accidental intoxication from prescription drug intoxication.

I am sure he was well compensated for his role in the Dark Knight and I was “entertained” for a “couple of hours” while I watched the movie. However, in my opinion the price to pay is just too high a price. I would gladly sacrifice the 2 hours of entertainment I got from watching the Joker or his other movies so that he could have an opportunity to raise his daughter.

I am not blaming “Hollywood” for the problem of objectifying patients with mental illness and using and abusing them until they finally crack. And when they crack, we the viewers fanatically watch and like the videos online as we grotesquely gawk at them “losing it”. But once they lose it we “the entertained” show up in droves to memorial services, candle lighting vigils, we flock to social media outlets to show our outpouring of love and support to their surviving families and loved ones. I wonder if anyone else is plagued by this feeling of guilt that plagues me.

After pondering the facts for several months, I have come to the following conclusion; Hollywood exists because we allow it to exist, the Papparazi have jobs because we allow their industry to exist and thrive. At the end of the day they are not the problem- WE ARE! It is simply issue of demand and supply; we provide the demand and they provide the supply.

I for one am sick of it, I am sick of being part of the problem. I refuse to provide the demand for an industry which leaves parents childless and children parent-less. The price are just too high to pay.

As a mother and a physician it is imperative that I speak up and say this is wrong. I have members of my families who are suffering from mental illness and I hope that if they had a public meltdown and someone happened to capture it on camera. I hope that my fellow humans would not watch, laugh, comment, like and re-tweet the video. Unless we affect their bottom line nothing will change. The only way to affect their bottom line is to stop providing the demand. When the “FreakShow” was at its height in the 19th century, several people spoke up about the dangers of using humans in these circus shows. The very people who so eloquently supported the abolishment of slavery were entertained on weekends by children with birth defects kept in cages and used as a commodity.

Denzel Washington asked – Is there really enough news to warrant a 24 hour new cycle? I am asking – Is there really a need for outlets reporting celebrity gossip? I am saying ENOUGH! Today I am making a decision to take away the demand. I want to invite you to take a pledge with me to abstain from providing Hollywood and media outlets reporting celebrity gossip with the supply that keeps them in business. I am calling on mothers, fathers, the middle aged, the elderly, the teenagers and last but not least the millennials. I am calling on my generation to stand with me and take the pledge to abstain for 1 month. Join me as I abstain from all the following for 30 days; NO- Movies theaters, Netflix, Hulu, YouTube, Amazon Video, TMZ, E-News, Wendy Williams show, Hollywood Rag, People, OK Magazines  and the list goes on and on. To a see a more thorough list check out this article from Forbes.

I know it is a lot to ask and I know our decision may have negative financial repercussions on the very people we speaking up for but somebody has to take a stand. Let’s abstain from having someone else’s privacy invaded just so that we can be entertained. The goal is not to punish the artists but rather to remind the media that we control the DEMAND and we would like better moral standards established in this industry.

Let’s start our pledge on Martin Luther King day (January 16th 2017) and end on Valentine’s Day (February 14th 2017). What better gift to show to the people we LOVE than to say NO to Human Exploitation for Monetary Gain.

What is the worst that can happen? We save some money, we talk to our families more and we gain some time for introspection.

What we will miss out on? Celebrity divorces, drug overdoses, fights, custody battles, Celebrity arrests etc. Show you CARE and join me in saying ENOUGH.

TAKE THE PLEDGE here. 30 days too long? Consider joining for just ONE day!

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Share your thoughts on this article below, I can’t wait to hear from YOU!

freak

 

Here is the link to an excellent article by Susan Ruth on this topic.

Welcome!

Check out this quote from one of my numerous big sisters; I am so proud of her. Keep going I can’t wait to see you fly!

gg's musings

Welcome to my blog. My name is Georgina, those who’ve known me a longtime call me Aka. I am a nurse who loves other things in addition to nursing.

I have always wanted to write, to share my thoughts on a range of topics, but procastination got the best of me, until my sister Tina Coleman (Grace Favorand Faith- check her out @CNATOMD) challenged me to write my first post. Tina called me daily, asking me if I’d written my first post. So I told her to pick a date, any date, and I’ll have my first post. She picked January 1st 2017-but then called me 2 days later, and said she’d decided to push the date earlier-the next day (over 2 weeks before the planned date). I told her, that won’t be possible but my blog would be up on 12/14/16.

My goal here is to share my thoughts…

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Planning

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Let’s just be honest, planning is boring, tedious, time consuming and just not sexy. It takes insight and foresight to plan. You must take into account strength and weaknesses, timing, age, background, education etc, etc. As you get more and more adept at writing plans, you will quickly become acquainted with the economic term “opportunity cost”. Opportunity cost  has been described by economists as  “the basic relationship between scarcity and choice”. This principle hones on the concept that the true cost of a good is not what you pay for it but rather it is what you had to forego in order to get that particular good.  Here is an illustration from http://www.theeconomist.com; going for a walk may appear to cost nothing, until you consider the opportunity forgone to use that time earning money. The fundamental problem that economics addresses is how to meet unlimited wants with limited resources. Opportunity cost therefore is an important tenet in answering that question because it probes us to ensure that resources are indeed being used efficiently.

Lets apply this principle to out personal lives, we all have unlimited wants (aka dreams) but we have limited  resources such as time, money, intelligence, patience, support etc. Planning allows you to more accurately evaluate the cost of a decision. I remember one of my mentees and she was definitely a procrastinator. She had been taking nursing prerequisite courses for over 3 years and as I listened to her talk on and on about the challenges of  taking more than 2 classes a semester and being fixated on getting into a prestigious program which had rejected her multiple times before. I finally got fed up and told her, “I appreciate your perseverance, but just remember that for every year you decide to delay, you are losing on average about $100,000 a year from future earnings”. The true cost of the decision to delay is not just another year, it is the loss of a potential $100,000 in income. It is the time you will lose by having to delay retirement in the future. It is the time you will lose with your family in the future. It is also a loss of the compound interest you will have gotten from savings. Within a year, my mentee got into a nursing program. Not necessarily the program of her choice but definitely got good training and now she works a nurse  in her field of choice.

In conclusion, I urge you therefore to view planning as a GPS system. It calculates the time (true cost) of reaching your particular destination (your dream) by taking into account multiple variables such as distance, time of day, traffic, roadblocks,  setbacks, accidents, other drivers on the road with you, the topography, the seasons of the year etc. Let’s not be arrogant enough to think that we can free style or way through life. If God himself makes plans, how can we be exempt? I leave you with a quote by William Gibson  from The Economist. future

 

NUMB3RS

I have a fascination with numbers and I tend to compartmentalize things in my life and will periodically give myself grades on how I think I am doing in the different areas in my life. Mom Berthina gets a 75.9%, wife Berthina gets an 80%, doctor Berthina gets a 65%, sister Berthina gets 35% and so on and so forth. I try to do this at least 4 times a year to get a a real sense of how I am doing and make adjustments accordingly. I find new years resolutions to be particularly tiresome and irksome since you only think about them for the first few months of the year. I like feedback so much that I even keep a chart on answered prayer request for family and friends. I usually say things like, the average for our answered prayers for the year is 83.6% and people usually give a funny look like what is wrong with you”. I am usually thinking what’s wrong with you? If you are going to bother to pray why not try to be efficient?

I have a constant running timer on the next major event in my life. If you have any doubt, just check out the bottom of the page. I know numbers, I understand them and appreciate that they can give me concrete information without all the subjective fluff. Not saying that the context in interpreting numbers is not vital. As a matter of fact it is critical to accurate interpretations. However it is very comforting to know that gravity is still 9.81 m/s2 . I love that little g (gravity) has not changed. As a matter of fact big G has not changed either. It is still the universal gravitational constant aka “Newton’s constant” and it is still  G \approx 6.674 \times 10^{-11} {\rm \ N \ (m/kg)^2}.

Anyway before I digressed, I was professing my undying love for numbers. I recently sparked a debate at work with a colleague about me grading myself on my wifely duties. I can understand that there is a certain “double entendre” in this statement but keeping that aside, how can you be great at anything without any feedback. Often we get both positive and negative feedback but for some reason we mostly remember the negative feedback. I keep an accurate account of how I am doing so that when I get either positive or negative feedback on my behaviour over a certain period of time, I can compare it to my own notes and if it is accurate embrace it and make the necessary changes and if not, just reject it and move on. Of course this will be completely useless if this were only based on my opinion of myself, I have a group of trusted confidantes (number 1 being my spouse) whom a surreptitiously get to give me feedback, I find that people are a little wary of passing judgement on other people’s life but if you can take the criticism then you may find this beneficial.

I have a rule of 33.33%; I say 33.33% of my time should be spent on my family, 33.33% on personal and 33.33% on my career. Obviously my spouse gets a lot of the personal time because we do a lot of things together. For me it is very obvious that I need this allocation of time to stay in balance. Invariably in life you get unexpected events that throw you out of sync but if you are not careful, you will find yourself hallowed and disheveled because personal time (the most important category) always takes the greatest hit. My advice is to make adjustments as necessary but make sure you pay yourself back that time. My husband used to laugh when I would tell him at the end of a difficult block in medical school; “I owe myself 18.6 hours of sleep, I need that time paid back to be the normal me again” and I would take a week or so to pay it back.

In conclusion this is just a nerdy way of ensuring growth and evolution. This may not be for everyone and some people may have even found it tiresome to read this post. Again you know yourself the best ( or at least you should), if you found it useful, try it out and if you found it cumbersome reject it and move on. That is the beauty of the evolution process; plagiarizing and imitation is highly encouraged because as we know it is survival of the fittest. A personal quote is; “Scavenge the earth for wisdom you never know when you might need her.” It is only fitting to conclude with a quote about balance: “Balance that’s the secret. Moderate extremism. The best of both worlds.” Edward Abbey

balance