Forgiveness

Forgiveness just like diversity is great idea until you have to do something about it. It is a concept that sounds great in theory but it is very difficult to practice. One of my new year’s resolution is to be more forgiving and who better to practice on than family? Like most people, I struggle with forgiveness and it is sometimes even more difficult to forgive those who are closest to you.

I am reminded of these words by Thomas Szasz “The stupid neither forgive or forget; the naive forgive and forget ; the wise forgive but do not forget”.

I have learned that forgiveness is more about you than about the people you are forgiving. I realize that forgiveness frees you to be vulnerable again. Now vulnerability is a word that is not really part of an “independent” woman’s repertoire but may be it should be reintroduced. It allows us to be open to possibilities, it frees us to welcome the possibility of being surprised and even swept off our feet by the nuances of life.

I am also reminded of an all to familiar quote from Alexander Pope: “To err is human, to forgive is divine”. A quote from his work “An Essay on Criticism”.

Last year, I heard an awesome song by Takesure Zamar Ncube which is now my anthem for this year. The title of the song is KUREGERERA IN ADVANCE-  (meaning I forgive you in advance) – Click on the link to watch the song. The song is sung in Shona, a South African language but it speaks volumes and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Forgiveness is not a process that you can embark on with lukewarmness it takes gusto and strong will to forgive someone and to live in that forgiveness. I am well aware that living in forgiveness is whole separate topic. It is easy to forgive someone you see once a year but living with someone whom you have to forgive or you have forgiven is another cup of tea. I had no idea about the meaning of the word until I got married. There is nothing like marriage to teach you about forgiveness and humility. I leave you with a quote from George Foreman “Forgiveness is that subtle thread that binds both love and friendship. Without forgiveness, you may not even have a child one day”. In the interest of keeping families together and living our best lives; let’s embrace and learn the science and art of forgiveness.