Ramblings of an overworked ENTJ

Truth be told, I have always had the reputation of a hot head who is neither lacking in opinions nor shy with sharing those opinions. However as I grow older, I have come to understand that being brazen rashness that may have by mistaken for bravado and may be even admired in your twenties is not cute when you are in your 30’s. As I begin to explore the idea that may be there is a different way to view and process things rather than just the usual I think I am right so therefore I am right.
During the pass decade I have grown so much and gotten so much more than I have ever hoped or planned or even dreamed of. But in order to understand my journey may be it’s important to understand my history up to this point.
I am the fifth girl in a family of 8 and growing up I was sort of a conundrum in the sense that even though I was clearly an extrovert and mostly outspoken and outgoing, I spent most of my child hood as a bookworm. Spending hours in our family library which is really an overstatement. It really was a small room may be 4 x 6 m with a small dingy window and poor ventilation with a collection of books that my dad a journalist had collected over the years. It was in the tiny room that my family and I affectionately called “small room” that I was introduced to Dicken’s flair, Bronte’s eloquence and Twain’s story telling abilities. It was my chance to escape into a world of possibilities and I lived an enchanted life.
It was a kind of escape and as I began to delve in the literature I felt liberated of sorts. It was at this time that I realized that I did not have to live solely on the basis of my experience but I could begin to draw from the experiences of others. I began to entertain the idea that there is more to life and to the world that just what I had seen or experienced. Also it did not hurt at all that my father was such a great story teller who had spent the majority of his working life travelling for his job.

So you wanted to be a doctor?

Me by 9 am, after my first case
Me by 9 am, after my first case

Beep, beep, beep my alarm goes off. For a few seconds I am actually disoriented, where am I?…and where am I going at this God forsaken hour?…. Wait what time is it anyway? I wearily roll over to check the clock and its 3:00 am in the morning.

Suddenly it all starts coming back to me, I am a surgical resident in the 7th month of my residency and I am going through a living hell…ahem…I mean, I am living the dream right now. I roll over and give my wonderful husband a kiss.

I can’t believe I signed up for this. Wait I fought and studied hard for this. I try to ignore the bags under my eyes and the rolls I can feel around my waist as I try to remind my self that this is a blessing and I am living the dream.

I hurry through my morning routine shower, brush teeth, jacket, keys and pager. I gently tiptoe out of the house praying that I don’t wake the baby up because then, my already tired husband will have to miss out on sleep again to help settle the kids. I hurriedly step out of my apartment rushing to the job that I hate…I mean love….I can think of a few choice words in at least 5 languages to describe my job but I refrain from doing so since I am saved and I am a mother of 2 now. God where has the time gone? I am somebody’s mother. Oh Lord, help those children!

God, I love my life and I am really living the dream. Grin. Okay so I really must explain the living the dream statement. For the people who know me I really am passionate about life. If I like a new movie well everyone I know is going to watch it, If I read a new book well everyone in my circle must read it. In short, I do most things with passion and try to live life with fervency. Anyway, I have always dreamed of being a doctor as young as age 5 or 6 and it has been a dream for so long that now that I am finally done, I have to remind myself constantly that I am living the dream. Hey as they say in Cameroon, “na ya mbanga, na ya oil” Loosely translated, “you made your bed, now lie in it”. Anyway, it’s time to stop day dreaming and get to work, It’s already 4 am and I have 19 patients to see and write notes on before 7 am. Hmm, I really hate…I mean love this! Yay me!

Intro May 2014

My name is Tina C,  a 30 year old wife and mother who is embarking on a new chapter in her life. As I begin to type these first few words, I really ask myself what I want this blog to be about and I must say that I am not really sure what direction it will take but I look forward to it. I am a born again Christian so my faith permeates everything that I do. At least I try to live up to the standards that are set for us in the word of God. I am also a medical doctor, I recently graduated from medical school… wait…. my graduation is today. I am supposed to be graduating from medical school in Texas where I attended Texas Tech University HSC but I am currently in Seattle Washington with my husband and 2 kids. I am married to the most wonderful man I have ever met  his name is Kellen . On our wedding day I remember looking at him and saying “buckle up for the widest ride of our lives” and indeed it has been that a truly wild ride laden with highs and lows, lots of waterfalls and cliffs, beautiful valleys and full of adventure. My husband and I decided to come to Seattle early enough to get settled and figure out a day care situation for our girls as well as work schedules. Hence I have been on an extended vacation since March of this year. I have really enjoyed spending time with my 2 girls ( 4 years old and a 7 month old). Their needs are so varied and different and I am enjoying being a housewife at least for a few months. I start a surgical internship year in a few weeks and I am definitely looking forward to beginning the residency process which will be about 6 years for me. I am ultimately training to be a radiologist. In addition to all this I am a sister to a group of loud, assertive and generally rambunctious group of 7;  I have 2 brothers and 5 sisters. We are originally from Cameroon in West Africa  and we like to think of ourselves as a fun group with lots of insight but usually our discussions turn into loud matches with myriad arguments that often end up in cul de sacs of pop psychology, laughter and some times just plain old craziness. I can’t wait to tell them I am now a blogger, I bet they find that hilarious given that I am probably the last person on planet earth who is not on facebook or twitter. I wonder how I will get people to read my blog….huh…. Should have definitely thought that one through.